Out of My Comfort Zone

I'm about to post about two things that are totally out of my comfort zone, so take a seat and a deep breath. Okay, okay I know there are a total of maybe four people who read our blog, so this is probably old news!

The first thing is Craig and I are VERY excited to have our adoption profile transferred and up in Nebraska! You can check it out here. We haven't told many people that we are trying to adopt because it can be an awkward conversation.

Example of awkward conversation:

Me: "My name is Erin and this is my amazing husband Craig. It's nice meeting you."

Other Person: "It's nice meeting you Erin and Craig. Do you have children?"

Me: "Not yet, we are actually trying to adopt."

Other Person: "Oh... How 'bout them Yankees?"

So, this isn't really how it goes, but it is hard to bring up the subject because you never know how the other person will react, if they'll wonder why or ask about infertility, or if they will feel bad about asking about having children in the first place. We don't mind talking about our situation if the subject comes up and it's actually nice to know others are excited for us too!

The next part (that's still uncomfortable) is the (shortened) story of our adoption journey. Craig and I have always wanted to have a family and talked about how many kids we wanted since before we were married.

After a couple years of marriage I started nagging Craig that it was the "right" time for us to start a family. After one year of no success I made the dreaded infertility visit to my doctor. We were lucky to learn the reason of our infertility very quickly, which also meant we knew the only possibility of becoming pregnant would be through in-vitro fertilization (IVF). We were sad, but relieved to know we didn't have to spend lots of time and money on procedures that wouldn't work. We started our adoption profile right away and had it up in Utah within a few months.

After another few months, we were blessed with the opportunity to do a cycle of IVF at the University of Utah (Spring 2011). I won't go into detail, but basically I had an excessive amount of hormones for several weeks, bloated ovaries, sore behind from intramuscular shots (which yes, I gave myself), and lots of mood swings. We were ecstatic when the pregnancy tests were positive and a fetal heartbeat was heard at my 7 week appointment. Sadly, we lost the pregnancy after only ten short weeks and found out the day before moving to Nebraska. I sent Craig off the next morning and my mom took me to have a D and C that afternoon. Needless to say, our first summer in Lincoln was hard.

We are now focusing on adoption and hope this is the Lord's "right" time, but will try to be patient as long as we can. I made it past my due date in January, which I thought would be awful. It wasn't, though.

Craig and I have learned a lot during the past few years and have been able to work on OUR relationship, which has been wonderful. I love being married to such an awesome man!

Well that's it. I shared my feelings. More to come? I'll think about it...